At this time of year we are conditioned to make resolutions
We tell ourselves things are going to change this year and we are motivated and ready to start the year afresh
New ideas, new goals, there we are ready to go and take action
But most new year resolutions don’t make it until the end of Jan. you prob know this from experience yourself. In fact all to often they leave us feeling worse that we did before. It becomes just another failure to add to the growing list.
So why is it that after a few weeks we stop continuing the action? You want change things really badly right? So why can’t you just stick to the plan?
Actually it’s not your fault.
Most people don’t know that for real transformation to occur, ie to create new habits and lasting changes, changes have to occur in the brain. The brain has to go through a process where the new habit is transferred to the part that runs programmes on auto-pilot
And this is exactly why boxers shadow box. They repeat their movements so often they run like a programme on automatic
Here are 10 reasons why most New Years Resolution are set to fail – AND how to make real sustainable changes
1. You’ve committed to the goal but not the work involved to get the end result. You haven’t fully researched or understood the work involved to reach the goal. Eg if you want to look like a fitness model, it involves a lot more than just training. We’re talking weighing and measuring food daily and completely staying off the booze (that’s why I don’t look like a fitness model!) Instead get clear on the process to reach your goal before you decide if it’s right for you
2. You are not clear on your reasons for wanting the goal in the first place. Every goal is a search for a feeling. If you are not clear on how you want to feel when you reach the goal, how will you ever know when you get there? Instead of measuring inches and kilos – think about how you want to feel and what needs to happen to create those feelings
3. The journey to reach the goal causes you misery and unhappiness. If you hate the thought of what you have to do to reach the goal and have to force yourself to do the work, it’s never going to be sustainable. We can only force ourself to do something for a limited amount of time. If you want to create transformation and not just short term changes, you have to enjoy the actions enough to keep repeating them, so makes sense to find something thats going to be fun!
4. The process to reach your goal leaves you off balance. The journey is too extreme and leaves you no time to connect to yourself or your friends and family. Being of balance means the journey is all work and no fun. If you feel disconnected with yourself you are likely to become vulnerable and be more likely to reactive behaviours that will take you further away from your goal
5. You haven’t planned your defences. Reaching a new goal or creating a new habit takes time. Life is always going to get in the way. Your boss asks you to work late so you can’t get to the gym or to your business class……you’re kid is sick so you have to pick them up from school early…
If you haven’t created a response for all the things that could get in the way, you leave yourself open to getting hit by life’s punches
6. Your reason for achieving the goal is to please someone else. If you’re happiness is tied up with someone else recognition and approval you are always going to be vulnerable as you lack certainty in yourself. Get to know yourself first and get clear on your values and beliefs, and what actually makes YOU happy. Then ask yourself will reaching this goal take me closer to happiness?
7. You try to change behaviour without changing the underlying believes. Again it goes back to knowing yourself and what you believe. If you believe that your self worth is tied up in what you achieve then you will constantly be chasing happiness. Changing the outside without changing what’s inside won’t work. You’ll always find more external things that need changing unless you can learn to be happy with who you are
8. You’re following someone else’s plan. Just because something worked for your friend, neighbour, auntie or cousin doesn’t mean it will work for you. Get to know yourself and how you work best. Everyone’s body and lifestyle is different so what works really well for one person might be terrible for you. Weight loss can be a bit of an experiment to get to know your body and how it responds to certain things
9. The plan causes you stress. If you get stressed out because you missed prepping a meal or missed a workout, it’s more likely to cause your body to hold on to weight. When we are stressed, our bodies release stress hormones and all our other hormonal functions are compromised. This is more likely to lead to fat GAIN
Trust me I know all about this one!
10. You haven’t created a plan or set aside time to practice the new behaviour. Whether it’s practising eating healthier or whether you want to be more confident, everything is a skill. Learning a new skill takes time and practice. For anything to become a new habit 3 things need to happen. You need to give it attention, be clear on your intention and repeat the actions enough times for the patterns to be stored in the correct part of your brain. Boxers do this by shadow boxing so their moves become automatic. If you want your new habit to be sustainable you need to put in the reps to practice it, right?
So how can you build in daily rituals to shadow box your new behaviour?
What’s your experience of New Years Resolutions? Have you been successful in changing behaviour? I love to hear your experiences so please do comment below